Have you ever been curious about marriage? Love? Relationships? Or, my marriage, love, and relationship? If so, keep reading.
This month’s Married at 22 segment includes our version of 20 Questions, diving deep into who we are as a couple.
Enjoy our couple’s Q & A!
Where’d you meet?
Chad is my best friend Laura’s cousin, and we lived in a small, small town (my class had 69 people, his about 80) where everyone just knows each other without being introduced.
But technically, we probably first interacted in 2004 when we played on the same little league baseball team. 🙂 You can read more about it here.
What’s the first thing your spouse would buy if they won the lottery?
Chad: A house, so she could get a puppy.
Me: First, he would invest. Like, right away. Then he’d pay off our debt.
Who said “I love you” first?
Technically, Chad. He said it quietly in German when I was resting my head on his shoulder, lightly dozing off. I heard him, but pretended I didn’t.
A little over a month later, I said it officially. It was kind of weird. After we went to a play at our high school, I programmed my on-loan iPad (perks of my AP English class) to say “I love you” in German (ich liebe dich) to let him know that I knew he’d said it, but I wasn’t confident enough to say it myself. It was awkward and I’d like to pretend I didn’t do that.
What does an ideal date look like?
Chad: Hmmm, probably getting food at a restaurant, then going to a brewery.
Me: I like when a date includes an activity, food, booze, and quiet time at home later to decompress. So, maybe bowling (activity), Mexican food (food), a brewery (booze), and a Netflix movie at home with cuddles (introvert time).
What word best describes your spouse first thing in the morning?
Chad: Grumpus. (I guess that means a combination of grumpy and the monster Crampus. So, really grumpy.)
When did you know you wanted to marry each other?
Chad: I started imagining Savannah as a permanent part of my life pretty early on, but I don’t remember exactly when.
Me: We always took things really seriously with our relationship, so I think I knew when I realized that I didn’t just love Chad, but that he was the love of my life.
What is your spouse’s favorite junk food?
Chad: Ohemgee, can I list them all? She loves milk chocolate, white chocolate, cookies, fudge, brownies, brownie batter, ice cream—she’s not a huge pie person or a pastry for dessert person—but then she likes cake too. And gummies. There’s a lot.
Me: He loooooves chips—potato, tortilla, you name it, he’ll devour it. Also, pastries.
What does your spouse do that gets on your nerves?
Chad: She wakes me up when I’m sleeping. (He means when he’s sleeping on his back and snoring, lol.)
Me: Ummmmm. Number one, his loud chewing. He also loudly gnaws on his fingernails. I also call him ‘Hurricane Chad,’ endearingly, because he tends to make a mess. And humor is my coping mechanism.
But he used to end his sentences with “so…” and he has stopped doing that and I am forever thankful because that was the very, most absolute worst. You go honey.
What’s one of your favorite things about your spouse?
Chad: She’s my best friend.
Me: Too many to pick, but his damn big brain is really up there. (Here’s 25 other things, if you’re interested.)
Who cooks more?
Definitely Chad. He’s also good at it. We try to balance things out; either I’ll help him or plan meals or clean a little extra to compensate.
Where did you go on your first date?
Well, I was invited over to Chad’s house to play poker with him and his friends on Halloween evening…except no one else showed up. Because no one else came, we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. We ended up at a small park, where we ended up laying next to each other on the ground and watched the stars for a while.
It was a really specially first date, and stars have remained a theme of our relationship ever since.
What was your wedding song, and why?
We went with “True Companion” by Marc Cohn.
One time when Chad went off to college and I was still in high school, missing him terribly, he texted me a stanza of the song:
So don’t you dare and try to walk away
I’ve got my heart set on our wedding day
I’ve got this vision of a girl in white
Made my decision that it’s you alright
Later on, we just remembered how it got us through the hard times of distance, and it was both unique and sincere.
What’s your advice for getting through the wedding day?
Chad: Be sure to make having fun your top priority. The best way to do that is to invest in a day-of coordinator, delegate, and make sure that you don’t have to do anything yourselves.
Me: Make things about the two of you, first and foremost. It’s your day. Put your spouse above everything else and make sure you have a blast. Make having fun your top priority.
Do you have any wedding day regrets?
Chad: That it ended.
Me: Even though we had a wonderful time, I wish we’d taken a few more stolen moments. We were definitely trying to people please, and I would’ve liked a few more breaks of us one-on-one, even if it was rude.
What’s your favorite thing to do together?
Chad: I really like going to breweries and having dates there.
Me: I love being introverts together at home, followed very closely by weekend getaways.
Where would you like to go on vacation next?
*****if money were no object
Chad: Greece or Ireland.
Me: Hawaii, Ireland, then Europe.
What’s your spouse’s Starbucks order?
Chad: Soy vanilla latte with an extra pump of vanilla.
Me: He’d order himself a plain coffee. I’d get him something new; not too sweet, but normally a latte of some kind.
Was it hard adjusting to living together?
Chad: Not really, because we were both used to roommates by then and had already been together for several years. It just felt like the natural next step.
Me: For me it wasn’t, because we had spent so much time together already almost every weekend in college. It felt like we had been practicing for a long time (nearly five years), so it was easy for me. It felt like a long time coming.
What’s the hardest thing about marriage?
Chad: Marriage isn’t hard, but there are pressures of adult life that can be tough to juggle. I think marriage actually makes those things better and alleviates the stress.
Me: I think it can be hard to build experiences when you have financial goals. Or to wish the present away for future things. Also, having families that live in different places can be tough for things like holidays.
What’s your best advice for a happy marriage?
Chad: Communication is key, and don’t forget to ‘date‘ your spouse.
Me: Put your spouse first, communicate your needs, make time for each other.
Thanks for reading our couple’s Q & A! Please let us know if you have any more questions regarding marriage, or ours in particular. 🙂