In general, I don’t care for compromise. I’ll do it, and have trained myself to look for solutions that fit everyone’s needs—I’m really good at it, and it comes in handy.
However: compromise isn’t always the best tactic. I believe in doing things wholly, and, in the marriage space, sometimes that involves taking one for the team so that my husband can enjoy all of what he wants, rather than a half, watered-down version. And vice versa; I like what I like and I’d really like the whole shebang, please.
We’ve been talking about vacation a lot. In normal years (as in, not-2020, not mid-pandemic, not post-buying a house), I’d likely have been on several short weekend getaways by now. Between both of our birthdays, summer festivals, and a looming anniversary, normally our calendar is busy and fun from March through September. But, as you can deduce, that has absolutely not been the case this year.
Which is fine.
But also, it sucks. We’ve been grinding and working hard and pushing ourselves. It’s challenging enough to start a business, work a second job, buy a house, go through unemployment, and stay home all the time during normal times. During a global pandemic? Oof. We’re struggling.
Back to compromise.
About a month ago, I booked us a cabin in woods on a lake. I absolutely couldn’t handle it (the same old, same old) anymore. And, truthfully, I did not compromise (even though my idea of a “vacation” means more than a two-night stay and usually involves a beach or some kind of luxury above “linens are provided”).
I didn’t listen to Chad’s protests—his, “why not just camp for free,” “we have a house payment,” or “we can wait” because we truthfully couldn’t. We’ve spent a lot of time here, in this house, with this dog, in this space, with little to look forward to. So, I pulled the trigger, sans compromise, and booked us a two-night stay in Colorado’s Trapper’s Lake Lodge.
We had a blast. It was a quick getaway, and far from anything fancy. We hiked and snuggled into our ultra tiny cabin that didn’t have electricity after 9 p.m. We laughed and played cards and saw a bear. Wally jumped in the lake, many treats were eaten. We rejuvenated ourselves and our spirit and the following work week didn’t feel quite as suffocating.
In the end, I’m happy to say that a no-compromise situation was the best option. Sometimes, you just can’t afford to half-ass and negate your needs.