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Embrace love, today and every day

Throughout high school, the cool thing was to be indifferent and cynical, especially when it came to romance and feelings. Love? Overrated.

We would roll our eyes at couples that were gushy and emotional, go into any new relationships with a realistic sense of self, and complain to our friends about excessive PDA when people so much as held hands in the hall. Maybe it was our way of marking ourselves as headstrong or realistic, but it was actually a form of repressing ourselves and our emotions.

Imagine how complicated it was for me when I started dating a boy in high school, and it felt real, very quickly. My plans to be cool, calm, collected were no match for my heart. I understood that a lot of my deep feelings could be attributed to puberty and a rush of hormones, but there was something that felt authentic from day one.

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As soon as I started to experience love, I slowly let go of my conditioning. And let’s be honest: I wasn’t skeptical about love before high school. I watched rom-coms and wrote love letters to imaginary characters (always the fiction lover) and dreamed about love scenarios as often as I did about having a kick-ass career and being a powerful woman.

Hipster BS

I wasn’t meant to be as cynical and critical as I’d become, but it came with the same territory as “I prefer to hang out with guys — they’re less drama,” “popular music isn’t good music,” or “girls are mean,” which most of us also bought into.

Typical high school elitism.

There were ideas that sounded right and smart, and so we mixed them into our teenage wisdom.

When I allowed love into my life, unguarded and authentic, everything changed. My mind opened a little wider. The silly rules and expectations I’d been carried dissolved. I felt the weight lifted, which gave me a little more room for acceptance. And now, I’m a huge advocate for feeling, completely.

Here’s my truth, today and always: I love love.

Boundless Lovin’

Originally posted in the February 2016 edition of the CU Denver Sentry.

Love is in the air. Embrace it, enjoy it, roll around in it.

If you’d ever like to see what passionate indignation looks like, taunt me with your Valentine’s Day renditions of doubt. Say that true love doesn’t exist, or that romantic love simply doesn’t last.

Here’s a better alternative: if you’d like to experience lasting happiness and joy, expand your mind and open your heart to the notion of boundless love.

I consider myself fortunate. True romantic love was always visible and tangible. Throughout my life I have witnessed the intense and authentic adoration of my parents. Those two have side-stepped outgrowing their connection to one another over the past 30 years. They’ve shown me what withstanding companionship can be. I’m better for it, without a doubt.

I believe in romantic love as wholeheartedly as I believe in any physical truths or concepts. It’s been a common theme through my life. I watched my parents hold hands in public, kiss upon arriving home, and end each departure with an “I love you.” 

Day to Day

I also see these themes within my own relationship. Intimacy, closeness, small moments of connection. While the cultural presence of amorousness and courtship has molded my status as a hopeless romantic, my own experiences have fed the fire.

Although the real deal may not be quite as extravagant—I’ve never gotten been serenaded with a giant stereo under my window, or received dozens of roses—it’s more satisfying and worthwhile than any media can portray.

Sometimes there’s hurt, fear, and fighting. Yet you learn that if you can work through the hurt, there’s solace. If you can see beyond the fear, there’s possibility of a grander future. And if you can fight, not just to argue, but to contest for each other and to maintain what you’ve worked so hard for—you can both emerge victorious.

Love is something essential to happiness, whether it inhibits friendship, family, occupation, or amorous connection. It’s vital. I love my family, my dearest friends, and this newspaper.

On Valentine’s Day, and the other 365 days of this calendar year, I’ll be loving my partner, and cherishing our own lengthy dose of true, romantic love.

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10 thoughts on “Embrace love, today and every day

  1. I love this, I totally agree that the cynicism of love goes away when you actually are in love and realise that it’s not just partners, but for family and friends too. And its not just about this one day and extravagant presents but every other day of the year where the little things matter! Beautifully written!

    1. I have always seen Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday warped with capitalism, but if you see beyond gift giving and expense, it can also just be a reminder to be extra loving and thoughtful. Thank you so much for reading! Sending you some warmth today also. 🙂

  2. This is so lovely – and true! I will admit I remember using the quote about hanging out with boys myself, I saw it everywhere online and was like ‘hey I wanna be different’. Now I look bit and cringe slightly!

    1. I definitely can relate to that, and imagine all the women I missed out on because it was engraved in my head deep down! I’m glad I realized that and move on. Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback!

  3. I absolutely love this article! I myself also fell victim to the whole popular music is bad music & whatever was popular I would just roll my eyes at, but now being married and seeing how we are both growing all the wrong ideas of love that I expected from movies & media have slowly gone away and I’m seeing it for what it really is ❤️

    1. Sometimes I think it can’t be helped to be at least a little naive about those kinds of things. And that’s totally right—as soon as you’re in it, you see the differences between expectation and reality. Thank you so much for reading and giving your feedback! ❤️

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